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Marc P Boucher's avatar

I was eleven in 1967. Our twelve hundred square foot house was home to a family of eight.

We were surrounded by forest, just outside of a yard that could be mowed in twelve minutes.

One would assume that an eleven-year-old boy in this wooded tranquil setting would be less likely than most to experience such self-induced trauma as I did that Sunday morning.

How could the second oldest of six and eldest son do what I was about to do?

Dad took sides that Saturday.

Mom said no to my BB gun request.

Dad over-ruled. His son would learn responsible gun ownership and besides, it was his paper route money.

The wait for Saturday night to morph into Sunday morning was excruciating.

I choose six o’clock. It was early but not enough to set off a parent alarm.

The gun waited for me in the front closet. What harm to just hold it, it was empty after all.

Mom would not approve but dad would understand.

I was the great hunter walking around in our living room. Soon I was looking for wild game.

I pushed the heavy curtains to one side and examined the thriving jungle just outside the window.

On the ground a gray squirrel rummaged in the thick forest floor, moving about in their quick jerky motion.

In a moment we locked eyes. As if it knew me bad gun worse, he bolted and was half way up the tree in three seconds.

I raised my brand-new Daisy rifle and with its empty chamber I shot that squirrel square in the fore head.

Suddenly, as quickly as that BB hit the window the blood ran from my face. My knees buckled; my arms became two lead pipes. Time stopped.

I stared at the small hole where the gray squirrel’s forehead once was.

As windows go, these were large, Boston Aquarium large.

I thought of mom’s wrath, dad’s disappointment and regret.

Goodbye Daisy BB gun hello bedroom for an indefinite amount of time.

Recounting, putting that memory on paper; Funny how my stomach still tightens up at the age of

68

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